Here is another story about one of my creepy old man admirers. I've decided to call him Herpes. Like I've stated in the previous post- he is just like herpes.. You want him to leave, but he just keeps coming back.
He appeared again on a few days ago. He came past the desk about four times during my shift- luckily I was busy each time so he didn't hang around. All creepy-like.
I have a few days off, and send the A shift a text message on his day of departure asking if Herpes was leaving that day. A shift replied back with an "Are you kidding? Of course not." Luckily I didn't work that night. I came in the next night hoping he was all long gone by then.. Of course not. Great. The B shift then warns me that he was asking about me. I had learned through my coworkers he has been getting pictures taken with the staff. My response to that is: HELL NO. I'd rather have pens shoved in my eyes and every orifice in my body before I'd let that happen. Or have major surgery without any anesthetic. Or be fucked in the ass every day for the rest of my life. With no lube.
For the first hour of my shift this creepy man will not leave the desk. I do some of my shift work, not making any eye contact with him, hoping he will just leave. He does not get the hint. He then lays his head down on the fucking counter, just staring at me. I, still refusing to look at him, tell him to go to bed since he's tired. His response was that "then he couldn't see me" and he "likes flirtin' wit me" .... Gross. Fucking gross.
A guest then checks in and heads to his room. Herpes then starts talking about the pictures he took of his disabled midget daughter with the rest of the staff and remarked he has not got one of me yet. I politely told him I do not do pictures. He smiled like I was some stupid thing that did not know what I was talking to and said "Of course you do!" He then walked back towards his room as two of my regulars showed up- one was left to check in. I checked in Mr. Regular and was just chatting with he and my other regular as Herpes showed back up with a camera. He had also dragged his midget disabled daughter all the way out from his room and into the lobby. This happened a bit after midnight, mind you.
I told him the answer was still no. He still did not believe me so I had to adopt a very firm tone to my voice and told him I did not want my picture taken and that NO MEANS NO. He and his daughter slunk back off to their room. Honestly though, I probably would have agree to a picture with everyone else but his nasty ass.
I turned toward my two regulars, wrote "That guy creeps me out really bad" on a scrap of paper and placed it on the desk in front of my two regulars as Herpes walked away. I was not sure if Herpes was still able to hear me or not. They chuckled and said if I needed anything to give them a call. I thanked them and bid them a good night. One of the regulars decided to stay up late since he had to flip his sleep schedule for his current job so he kept coming out to the desk to chat. He had stopped out at about 2am and we heard a door open from the end of the hallway Herpes is staying at. Mr. Regular said he'd stay out here for a few minutes in case Herpes came back out.
Herpes did indeed come back out. It should also be noted that whenever he appears he goes outside to smoke. I wish they would just get a smoking room so I would not have to see his ugly face. Well anyway, Herpes saw Mr. Regular and then looked towards me- with an expression of "oh no I've been caught in the act!" on his ugly mug. He then scheduled a wake-up call and went back to his room. I did not hear his door close for about 5minutes. Creepy.
Luckily I didn't see him for the rest of the night and he left later in the morning.
I recorded all that happened involving my picture being taken in our log book and there was an anonymous reply underneath saying that he said he'll be back. Fuck.
Showing posts with label old people. Show all posts
Showing posts with label old people. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
This guy is like herpes- you want him to leave, but he keeps coming back.
Every so often (well, more common than I care to admit) I end up with these old men who are for whatever reason smitten by my charm. This guy was here for a funeral and kept going outside to smoke. I had joined him for a cigarette thinking he just wanted to talk. Big mistake. I absolutely loathe when old men hit on me. I just don't understand what makes these men think they're so suave to try to get a woman a third their age. I just don't.. understand. Anyway, it sickens me every time it happens. The first "racy" thing this old turd said was "If I wasn't so old- I'd be flirtin' wit ya" ...But he decided to flirt anyway. Gross. He would say shit like "I'm developing a crush on you" and blow kisses and shit. Uncool. He wanted to talk to be about the bible. And how it cures everything from leprosy to aids to newfaggotry. Fun.
The next day I had pulled a muscle in my lower back due to an unfortunate chair incident at my residence. Ever been in so much pain that you can do nothing but cry? Yeah, that was me. I came into work and just sat against the back of the wall behind the desk. He came down and was talking to my swing shift girl. (Works half of B shift and half of my shift on the weekends.) I was trying to ignore him, but he just would not let me be. Trying to pick on me.. What is it with men having to revert back to being nine years old when they try to flirt with a girl. Fuck that shit.
He was staying at the hotel with his wife and disabled daughter. You'd think that he was single and never made it with a woman. or a man by the way he acted towards me.. But- stranger things have happened. Their van broke down so they were stuck here a few more nights. Much to my displeasure.
The next day I had pulled a muscle in my lower back due to an unfortunate chair incident at my residence. Ever been in so much pain that you can do nothing but cry? Yeah, that was me. I came into work and just sat against the back of the wall behind the desk. He came down and was talking to my swing shift girl. (Works half of B shift and half of my shift on the weekends.) I was trying to ignore him, but he just would not let me be. Trying to pick on me.. What is it with men having to revert back to being nine years old when they try to flirt with a girl. Fuck that shit.
He was staying at the hotel with his wife and disabled daughter. You'd think that he was single and never made it with a woman. or a man by the way he acted towards me.. But- stranger things have happened. Their van broke down so they were stuck here a few more nights. Much to my displeasure.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Yet another shitty story
Here is another shitty story.
Ever notice how when a story starts out with "So there was this 400lb woman.." it's definitely not going to be boring!
This happened the spring awhile ago if I am not mistaken. There was this very old, very large (approx 400lbs) in a wheelchair. She and some family members were staying in a non smoking room with two beds. They were here for about three nights. They didn't want housekeeping the entire time- so gross for them, good for housekeeping. The housekeepers on 2nd floor would find sheets missing off their cards while they were on break.
Housekeeping was checking the halls for linens from stayovers and came across a plastic bag of our sheets tied up and placed outside that room The housekeeping girl brought the bag downstairs and began to pull the sheets out, only to make a horrible discovery. The sheets were covered in shit. The housekeeping girl bellyached until the Head of Housekeeping decided to just throw them away.
Well, the large woman checked out. Nothing was said. Housekeeping gets into the room.. Oh man, it was terrible. There was poop EVERYWHERE. (I was off that day, but housekeeping described it to me so I will tell you exactly how it was described to me. Hehe.)
"There was shit EVERYWHERE, Anonymous!! There was shit in the bed, on the bed, beside the bed. (continue the in, on and beside for every item in the room)"
It was like the woman was a shit grenade.
The best part is that one of the desk staff promised them a suite next time they returned. Yeah, they're so not getting that.
Ever notice how when a story starts out with "So there was this 400lb woman.." it's definitely not going to be boring!
This happened the spring awhile ago if I am not mistaken. There was this very old, very large (approx 400lbs) in a wheelchair. She and some family members were staying in a non smoking room with two beds. They were here for about three nights. They didn't want housekeeping the entire time- so gross for them, good for housekeeping. The housekeepers on 2nd floor would find sheets missing off their cards while they were on break.
Housekeeping was checking the halls for linens from stayovers and came across a plastic bag of our sheets tied up and placed outside that room The housekeeping girl brought the bag downstairs and began to pull the sheets out, only to make a horrible discovery. The sheets were covered in shit. The housekeeping girl bellyached until the Head of Housekeeping decided to just throw them away.
Well, the large woman checked out. Nothing was said. Housekeeping gets into the room.. Oh man, it was terrible. There was poop EVERYWHERE. (I was off that day, but housekeeping described it to me so I will tell you exactly how it was described to me. Hehe.)
"There was shit EVERYWHERE, Anonymous!! There was shit in the bed, on the bed, beside the bed. (continue the in, on and beside for every item in the room)"
It was like the woman was a shit grenade.
The best part is that one of the desk staff promised them a suite next time they returned. Yeah, they're so not getting that.
Monday, March 30, 2009
The most annoying guest I've ever dealt with..
Every business has "regulars," hospitality included. Most of our regulars will stay here for a business week and going back to their homes on the weekends. This tale is about a guest who has truly got under my skin.
This guest worked for a power company with a crew of men. Their job was to put up power lines. One of the guys I guess decided to take a liking to me. He showed this by never leaving me alone. Ever. He didn't bother me at first, I just dismissed him as a chatty guest. He was an old guy, in his 60's that seemed lonely and wanted to talk about the good old days. I was alright with that, I get talky guests every so often. Well, more often than not. Everything was fine until he decided to request something from me. That request was to wake him up every morning by going into his room, bringing him a cup of coffee and giving him a small nudge on the shoulder. I just laughed it off and went on with my day thinking all was fine until he asked again the next day. And the day after that. That continued on for almost a month. When he would make his stupid request I would reply with "The maintenance man will do it for you." (The maintenance man is an older guy also.) Or "The breakfast bar lady will." (The breakfast bar lady is 81.) When I would respond with that his face would turn all red and he would giggle and say "Noooo, it has to be you!" ... Perverted much? He followed me around like a lost puppy, even outside when I'd take a cigarette break.. He did not smoke mind you.
He eventually stopped with his creepy request but not before trying to touch me. I was walking around the lobby and he comes up to me so I ask him what happened to his crew (They leave before he does.) I asked if they leave without him because they don't like him. He then starts off with "THEY DON'T LIKE ME NO ONE LIKES ME I NEED A HUG" then reaches to me to hug me. I stammer with "I need to talk to the breakfast bar lady!" and book it across the lobby.
After these incidents he really begins to irritate me.. He is hanging off the desk every single morning and always asks how I am. I reply with "Tired." in hopes that the answer will make it go away. It does not work. In his mind I think that he believes I am not allowed to be tired ever, even though I work all night and he sees me at the end of my shift. I also believe he thinks that I was put on this planet to provide entertainment for him. He will stand at my desk looking like shit every morning (eyes all red, hair uncombed and just crappy looking) waiting for me to make conversation. I'm sorry, that's not part of my job description.
One morning he came up to the desk to annoy the hell out of me.. The scene went like so:
Me wrist deep in paperwork.
Old Guy hanging off the desk: Whats the weather today?
Me: I'm sorry, I haven't had a chance to watch it yet but if you turn around the forecast is on the tv right now.
Old Guy: I DONT WANT TO TURN MY HEAD AROUND.
Me: Well, so be it, sir.
Later on in the evening he came into the hotel around 11pm (Mind you he gets up at 5:30am). I was BS'ing with a guest and Old Guy stomps into the breakfast bar, then to the lobby. He says in the whiniest voice, "I'M HUUUUNNNGGRRRYYYYY!!" by the tone of his voice he expecting me to instantly drop everything I'm doing, and go back to the kitchen and make him food despite it not being within the operating hours for the breakfast bar. I told him that Mcdonalds and the local gas station were still open. He retorted with "I knew you'd say that!" I then asked him if he was psychic- to which he said "No. I knew you'd say that just like I knew you'd tell me to turn my head around this morning." I told him I was sorry and that I would have known the weather that morning but people kept talking to me and I didn't get a chance to watch it. He got an offended expression, said it was nice talking to me then went off to bed. He let me alone for the rest of the week! It was the best week ever.
That week of awesome went by quickly and Old Guy resumed his duty of hanging off the desk. Tuesday morning my fiance came in to keep me company. I was hoping his presence would keep Old Guy away. The A shift came in early to relieve me as I was not feeling well. She was talking to my Fiance and the executive housekeeper and Old Guy as I was running around collecting my belongings. I heard the A shift carrying on loudly about my engagement as I was in the back room- I really wish I could have been out there to see Old Guy's reaction. My fiance told me about it after work and it just.. made all the crap I've gone through worth it. It wasn't anything drastic.. Just a subtle change in expression.
I should probably tell you he expression that he always has whenever at the desk- ever go to a strip club and see the one old guy who you know hasn't seen any action in years in front of some young chick shaking her goods? Ever notice outer parts of their eyebrows are always raised and they have that creepy perv grin? That expression of "Ooh! She's going to invite me in the back room and give me a happy ending!" Yeah, that's the expression Old Guy has every time he's at the desk.
The A shift goes on about my engagement and Old Guy takes a step back from the desk and tilts his head down, staring at the ground. His eyebrows relaxed- he went from an expression of "EHEHEHEHEHE EVERY WOMAN WANTS ME" to "I'm a sad old man" Booyah. I won.
The last two nights of his stay, after he found out I was engaged- he started showing up at the desk at around 1am (mind you he gets up at 5:30am. I know this because I have to double check that wake-up call every night.) The first night he showed up he decided to tell me about how the waitresses at a local restaurant recommended a bar for him. I shut down the conversation by telling him I couldn't be paid enough to drink in this sorry town. He got that same offended look and went to bed. He didn't speak to me at all in the morning. Score!
The final night he stopped at the desk briefly to tell me he had been up drinking (Like I should be impressed?) and made a joke about "no rest for the wicked." - I told him "Why do you think I'm always up?" He asked me to change his wake-up call to 6am. He showed up in the lobby in his pajamas. How trashy is that? He got coffee and just groaned around looking like crap and scratching himself. How classy. The A shift showed up so I pretended to look busy when he came up, went into the back room for a bit and then booked it out of the hotel without having to say good bye to the jerk. I hope I never see his wrinkled face ever again.
This guest worked for a power company with a crew of men. Their job was to put up power lines. One of the guys I guess decided to take a liking to me. He showed this by never leaving me alone. Ever. He didn't bother me at first, I just dismissed him as a chatty guest. He was an old guy, in his 60's that seemed lonely and wanted to talk about the good old days. I was alright with that, I get talky guests every so often. Well, more often than not. Everything was fine until he decided to request something from me. That request was to wake him up every morning by going into his room, bringing him a cup of coffee and giving him a small nudge on the shoulder. I just laughed it off and went on with my day thinking all was fine until he asked again the next day. And the day after that. That continued on for almost a month. When he would make his stupid request I would reply with "The maintenance man will do it for you." (The maintenance man is an older guy also.) Or "The breakfast bar lady will." (The breakfast bar lady is 81.) When I would respond with that his face would turn all red and he would giggle and say "Noooo, it has to be you!" ... Perverted much? He followed me around like a lost puppy, even outside when I'd take a cigarette break.. He did not smoke mind you.
He eventually stopped with his creepy request but not before trying to touch me. I was walking around the lobby and he comes up to me so I ask him what happened to his crew (They leave before he does.) I asked if they leave without him because they don't like him. He then starts off with "THEY DON'T LIKE ME NO ONE LIKES ME I NEED A HUG" then reaches to me to hug me. I stammer with "I need to talk to the breakfast bar lady!" and book it across the lobby.
After these incidents he really begins to irritate me.. He is hanging off the desk every single morning and always asks how I am. I reply with "Tired." in hopes that the answer will make it go away. It does not work. In his mind I think that he believes I am not allowed to be tired ever, even though I work all night and he sees me at the end of my shift. I also believe he thinks that I was put on this planet to provide entertainment for him. He will stand at my desk looking like shit every morning (eyes all red, hair uncombed and just crappy looking) waiting for me to make conversation. I'm sorry, that's not part of my job description.
One morning he came up to the desk to annoy the hell out of me.. The scene went like so:
Me wrist deep in paperwork.
Old Guy hanging off the desk: Whats the weather today?
Me: I'm sorry, I haven't had a chance to watch it yet but if you turn around the forecast is on the tv right now.
Old Guy: I DONT WANT TO TURN MY HEAD AROUND.
Me: Well, so be it, sir.
Later on in the evening he came into the hotel around 11pm (Mind you he gets up at 5:30am). I was BS'ing with a guest and Old Guy stomps into the breakfast bar, then to the lobby. He says in the whiniest voice, "I'M HUUUUNNNGGRRRYYYYY!!" by the tone of his voice he expecting me to instantly drop everything I'm doing, and go back to the kitchen and make him food despite it not being within the operating hours for the breakfast bar. I told him that Mcdonalds and the local gas station were still open. He retorted with "I knew you'd say that!" I then asked him if he was psychic- to which he said "No. I knew you'd say that just like I knew you'd tell me to turn my head around this morning." I told him I was sorry and that I would have known the weather that morning but people kept talking to me and I didn't get a chance to watch it. He got an offended expression, said it was nice talking to me then went off to bed. He let me alone for the rest of the week! It was the best week ever.
That week of awesome went by quickly and Old Guy resumed his duty of hanging off the desk. Tuesday morning my fiance came in to keep me company. I was hoping his presence would keep Old Guy away. The A shift came in early to relieve me as I was not feeling well. She was talking to my Fiance and the executive housekeeper and Old Guy as I was running around collecting my belongings. I heard the A shift carrying on loudly about my engagement as I was in the back room- I really wish I could have been out there to see Old Guy's reaction. My fiance told me about it after work and it just.. made all the crap I've gone through worth it. It wasn't anything drastic.. Just a subtle change in expression.
I should probably tell you he expression that he always has whenever at the desk- ever go to a strip club and see the one old guy who you know hasn't seen any action in years in front of some young chick shaking her goods? Ever notice outer parts of their eyebrows are always raised and they have that creepy perv grin? That expression of "Ooh! She's going to invite me in the back room and give me a happy ending!" Yeah, that's the expression Old Guy has every time he's at the desk.
The A shift goes on about my engagement and Old Guy takes a step back from the desk and tilts his head down, staring at the ground. His eyebrows relaxed- he went from an expression of "EHEHEHEHEHE EVERY WOMAN WANTS ME" to "I'm a sad old man" Booyah. I won.
The last two nights of his stay, after he found out I was engaged- he started showing up at the desk at around 1am (mind you he gets up at 5:30am. I know this because I have to double check that wake-up call every night.) The first night he showed up he decided to tell me about how the waitresses at a local restaurant recommended a bar for him. I shut down the conversation by telling him I couldn't be paid enough to drink in this sorry town. He got that same offended look and went to bed. He didn't speak to me at all in the morning. Score!
The final night he stopped at the desk briefly to tell me he had been up drinking (Like I should be impressed?) and made a joke about "no rest for the wicked." - I told him "Why do you think I'm always up?" He asked me to change his wake-up call to 6am. He showed up in the lobby in his pajamas. How trashy is that? He got coffee and just groaned around looking like crap and scratching himself. How classy. The A shift showed up so I pretended to look busy when he came up, went into the back room for a bit and then booked it out of the hotel without having to say good bye to the jerk. I hope I never see his wrinkled face ever again.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
I think you need to be demoted to a sippy cup.
An old lady was getting coffee and walked over to help her self to a cookie or twelve and somehow dropped her cup of coffee. It went everywhere, or at least all over the floor. The old lady said something along the lines of "WHOOPSADAISY" so freakin' loud and just stood there like a small child that just shat itself and stared at me. All would have been forgiven if she would have came up to the desk quietly and said she had spilled a cup of coffee. Bonus points if she would have asked for something to clean it up with herself. But no. She stared at me waiting for me to magic the spill away. Hag.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Phone Calls 3
his is possibly one of my most favorite stories.. Whenever guests ask me for an amusing story- this is usually the one I will tell. Well, one night my phone rang and it was an elderly woman asking if we had a restaurant in the hotel (which we do not.) I told her that we did not, but we do have a breakfast bar and I told her the hours. That was not good enough for her, she then asked for the names of other restaurants in the area and the distances in blocks. The area my hotel is in is quite rural and not in a block type set-up. I suggested my favorite mexican restaurant to her, which is up the road from my hotel. The woman's response to being recommended a mexican restaurant was to start yelling in to the phone. Here is what she yelled: "MEXICAN?! I'M NOT MEXICAN! I WAS BORN IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA." It was that night I learned that I am not an american citizen for enjoying a mexican restaurant. Weird. She also had one more little tidbit of joy- "AND WE AMERICANS ARE NOT USED TO THAT KIND OF CUISINE" ... I just stood there with the phone held away from my ear. It took everything inside me not to laugh at her. I wished her a good night and that we would see her on her day of arrival.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
I guess this was an emergency!
Okay, so I'm sure it is common that you dial 911 for emergencies only.. Apparently that instruction must have started after this gentleman was out of school.
July 3rd a gentleman in my hotel dialed 911.. I know this because whenever the three digits of doom are dialed- the desk knows about it- by means of every piece of equipment screaming shrilly. We got a hold of the room via telephone only to find everything was perfectly fine. His wife answered the phone and said her husband was being stupid and dialed 911 to inquire if the fireworks display for the 4th were going to be canceled due to rain.
July 3rd a gentleman in my hotel dialed 911.. I know this because whenever the three digits of doom are dialed- the desk knows about it- by means of every piece of equipment screaming shrilly. We got a hold of the room via telephone only to find everything was perfectly fine. His wife answered the phone and said her husband was being stupid and dialed 911 to inquire if the fireworks display for the 4th were going to be canceled due to rain.
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