Fat Momma III

So ends the saga of Fat Momma and her Fat Son. I decided to stop in at the hotel around 10:40am or so (the hotel's check out time is 11am). My fill-in auditor, Janes, was working A-shift so Bloom could spend Easter with her family. I walked into the hotel to see a large woman sitting on one of our fancy chairs (that are usually in the corner of the lobby by the front door) about two feet from the front desk. She gives me a weird look, but whatever. Janes immediately calls me behind the desk to assist him with something our part time auditor forgot to do.

Fat Momma was very, very short- probably around the 250-300lbs bracket but the weird thing is that most of her girth was all in her stomach. Fucking weird. I tried not to stare. So I just tried to ignore her presence.

After she and her stinky large son left- I talked to Janes about what just happened. I was told she was sitting because she didn't want to stand to check out. And after Janes finished his line of people checking out he turned back to face Fat Momma... She didn't even know why she was sitting there anymore. I'm so glad I didn't work that morning.

The weekend breakfast bar attendant filled me on on what happened when Fat Momma came down to pig out. The BBA (breakfast bar attendant) ended up waiting on Fat Momma hand and foot.. Our breakfast is self serve, by the way. Fat Momma consumed (inhaled?) an entire plate of bacon, a plate of eggs, two cinnamon rolls and some other crap I cannot remember. She then tests her blood sugar- in the breakfast bar. We have a class act, ladies and gents. But the best part of all is that she leaves the DIRTY NEEDLE on the fucking table.

I was also told the last night of her stay she complained that the coffee pot wasn't working- so housekeeping took up a different one. And she also ordered a pizza that evening and then complained to Janes that the pizza was terrible... Like it was totally our fault. Little do people know that all hotels have deals with all pizza places for the employees to spit in every pizza that is ordered to the property. (Kidding, but wishful thinking.) My other B-shifter told me that housekeeping found 7 pizza empty pizza boxes in their stinky cave of a room- all licked clean.

And here is the ending to the wallet story:
Later on the day the wallet was claimed stolen- Bloom and other employees saw Fat Son in the breakfast bar with his wallet.

If you're going to scam- atleast don't be a complete moron about it. Good riddance.

Fat momma- yet again.

So I wrote about that large woman yesterday.. I've decided to call her Fat Momma. She and her son decided to extend their stay through Sunday.. for the time being. I mentioned briefly in my previous post that Fat Momma and Fat Son have a distinct odor to them.. My A shifter, who I shall call Bloom, told me about them. She received numerous guest complaints about the elevator and hallways smelling like a mix of corpse, rotten egg, and ass. We have to spray down the areas with our heavy duty air freshener every time they pass.

One of our housekeepers went up to clean the Fat room but couldn't due to the smell being so strong it made her nauseous. So we got two other housekeepers to double up and clean the room. They did, and then went back to their duties.

So the first housekeeper is cleaning the room next door to Fat Momma's room and then Fat Momma cranes her fat head out of her door and asks the housekeeper if she saw a black wallet in the room- Fat Son immediately starts to ask "What wallet?" but Fat Momma tells him to shut up. The housekeeper told her "No ma'am" and that she hadn't seen a wallet and then rushed down stairs immediately to tell the Boss Lady about what happened.

After Bloom was done telling me this story I made a bet with her that the next incident involving Fat Momma and/or Fat Son will be a bathroom one. More so of a tub incident.