Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Phone Calls 5

Phone: *RANG* *RANG*
Anonymous: Front Desk, This is anon. How may I help you?
Guest: ......Hi anon....
Anonymous: Can I help you?
Guest: ........Do you think 5:10 is too early for a wake-up call?....
Anonymous: I'll set that right away for you.
Guest: Thank you.
Anonymous: Have a good night.

He said it all creepy. All I have to say is: wtf.

Monday, September 14, 2009


This really trashy couple comes in wanting a room. First thing out of his mouth is inquiry about employee discounts. I asked him what hotel he works for. He said a hotel not even affiliated with my hotel's brand. I told him that. It didn't quite sink in. They then asked prices, I quoted them a rate. I guess they were expecting something in the under $50 range. The couple were shocked at the price, verbally stated their disbelief that I could dare charge them such a rate. They then started to speak amongst themselves, still standing in front of the desk mind you, and decided to "go up over the hill and do it in the woods."

WTF. Ew. Did you really need to share that with me?

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Death of a guest.

So I had to make a new tag for this one. It's one of those weird topics that you don't know if you should express your true feelings because it may sound rude. Eh, fuck it.

So a few weekends ago we had an extremely large wedding party in the hotel. All young adults. All loving the party life. I will tell you more about them in a separate post.

This guest, a lady, was also here for a wedding, though a different wedding than the one previously mentioned. I wasn't around for her death- that happened during the day, well before I came in.

I guess she had been doing badly for awhile. She didn't start "serious business" dying until during the day. The daughter who was staying here called the front desk wanting an ambulance. The front desk girl, Bloom, was on the phone with the 911 operator and still on the phone with the daughter. One frazzled desk agent with two phones held up to her ears. Though luckily the ambulance arrived while she was still on the phone with 911.

It could have been a bad day for the paramedic. It had been a crazy night of drunken wedding guests who all insisted on using the elevator. Well, the elevator needed to be cooled down and had to be shut off for awhile. Though luckily they just got it back up shortly before this whole fiasco started. Just for irony's sake I hope that woman would have been 300lbs if they would have had to carry her down the stairs. Sorry, feeling a mean streak in me today.

Well, long story short, she died at the hospital. I talked to her daughter a few nights later. Her daughter seemed to think her mother knew it was time to go. She came out for a wedding, to see her family. She then said good bye to her family. For good.

And that's the tale of 314, kids.

Also the daughter has no concept of what an ashtray is. She smoked tiny capri cigarettes. Her method of quitting smoking is that a tinier cigarette, such as a capri, is only equal to a third of a "normal cigarette." She would also leave the tiny capri cigarette butts all over the fucking property. It was like you were on the path of a leprechaun with an addiction.

I learned something last night.

I learned what irish men wear under their kilts.

Shamrocks. Booyah.

But seriously kilted guy, thank you for the excellent conversation- You made a happy end to my terrible week.

And now things get a little less than awesome.

I have two hockey teams in the hotel. One is from Canadian. I am beginning to suspect Canadians are just... dumb. They decided to take the elevator up to their rooms on the top floor and thought it would be humorous to hit the elevator distress bell and then start punching eachother. (*facepalm*)
They showed back up in the lobby around 4am and of course I yelled at them. Morons.

Sorry, your auditor is very, very tired. Your auditor has been overworked and it's nearing the end of wedding chaos season. If I get bitched out by one more drunken wedding guest I swear someo- Well, it just won't be very good.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Not my problem

So apparently my hotel stopped offering access to the internet. We only offering the internot. Because no one can connect. (cue the sound of one hollow, bitter 'hah' in otherwise silence.)

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

The TV Button?

So this just happened to me tonight. A guest wanted to change the channel on the television in the lobby and this little gem came about.

Guest: Hey.. Do you guys all have a TV button?
Anonymous: A "TV button"..?
Guest: Yeah!
Anonymous: Uh... Yeah we do. it's that little button on the TV that says 'power' above it.
Guest: ...
Anonymous: Oh! You mean the remote! Here you go!

Monday, May 25, 2009

You can't be serious...?

So we have multiple working crews here to work on one of the large warehouse stores around here. It's getting a "facelift." Well the newest crew is here to do tile. The majority of them are annoying as shit- in particular this one big dopey looking guy. Well, he came up to my desk close to the end of my shift Friday morning. Dopey comes up to the desk and says he hasn't had housekeeping services for the past two days and wanted a bath towel. He then asks me to have housekeeping either A) clean the room while he is sleeping. Or B) wake him up so they can clean the room. WTF MAN. I just wanted to yell "Go be stupid somewhere else!!" at him