Monday, April 13, 2009

Fat Momma III

So ends the saga of Fat Momma and her Fat Son. I decided to stop in at the hotel around 10:40am or so (the hotel's check out time is 11am). My fill-in auditor, Janes, was working A-shift so Bloom could spend Easter with her family. I walked into the hotel to see a large woman sitting on one of our fancy chairs (that are usually in the corner of the lobby by the front door) about two feet from the front desk. She gives me a weird look, but whatever. Janes immediately calls me behind the desk to assist him with something our part time auditor forgot to do.

Fat Momma was very, very short- probably around the 250-300lbs bracket but the weird thing is that most of her girth was all in her stomach. Fucking weird. I tried not to stare. So I just tried to ignore her presence.

After she and her stinky large son left- I talked to Janes about what just happened. I was told she was sitting because she didn't want to stand to check out. And after Janes finished his line of people checking out he turned back to face Fat Momma... She didn't even know why she was sitting there anymore. I'm so glad I didn't work that morning.

The weekend breakfast bar attendant filled me on on what happened when Fat Momma came down to pig out. The BBA (breakfast bar attendant) ended up waiting on Fat Momma hand and foot.. Our breakfast is self serve, by the way. Fat Momma consumed (inhaled?) an entire plate of bacon, a plate of eggs, two cinnamon rolls and some other crap I cannot remember. She then tests her blood sugar- in the breakfast bar. We have a class act, ladies and gents. But the best part of all is that she leaves the DIRTY NEEDLE on the fucking table.

I was also told the last night of her stay she complained that the coffee pot wasn't working- so housekeeping took up a different one. And she also ordered a pizza that evening and then complained to Janes that the pizza was terrible... Like it was totally our fault. Little do people know that all hotels have deals with all pizza places for the employees to spit in every pizza that is ordered to the property. (Kidding, but wishful thinking.) My other B-shifter told me that housekeeping found 7 pizza empty pizza boxes in their stinky cave of a room- all licked clean.

And here is the ending to the wallet story:
Later on the day the wallet was claimed stolen- Bloom and other employees saw Fat Son in the breakfast bar with his wallet.

If you're going to scam- atleast don't be a complete moron about it. Good riddance.

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